Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Enlightened's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
5:55 am	Pankratz-Sandusky John Pankratz Jerry Sandusky There, I gave y'all something to think about. And when you vanity-Google yourself, John, drop us a line! (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 20th, 2007
11:50 pm	Llama, make thyself known! Llama, just post already. Well all know you refresh this page every five minutes, hoping against hope that one of us has updated. It's ok. While you hold your tiny dick in your hand, stroking it in hopes that I or HH will post some devastating critique of modern society, the world moves on. You need to comment soon, before that world, which involves girlfriends and jobs, passes you by. Now to my second point. John Pankratz, professor of history at Albright College. I hear you like...well, you like the freshmen, and the freshwomen. That's ok, in its own way. I've owned you in this journal. I gave you a few years to reply. It's time to do that, you damn coward. Explain why basic logic does not apply to you - why, for instance, a person whose accomplishments were utterly pathetic during life would suddenly become brilliant upon death. Explain why sexual harassment law ceases to be applicable when you get tenure. Anything, really. Post. Be a man. Whatever. Pussy. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 24th, 2007
10:48 pm	Social networking - waste of time or excuse for murder? Entwine? Facebook IS myspace, idiots. Get the fuck over that. Already. I saw someone complain a few months back that facebook was becoming too much like myspace. Kinda hard for something to become like itself, fucktard. Myspace is a stupid "social networking" site where people post meaningless bullshit about themselves, spam each other, and waste time. In facebook, instead of all that, you...wait. What? It's the same thing, and ALWAYS FUCKING HAS BEEN. This idea of mine was floating in my head until Glenn Beck brought it out today, and I realized that I needed to say it or I'd start excecuting prisoners and razing cities and shit (whoops been playing too much Medieval II: Total War [really odd sequence in that title]). Facebook is digital narcissism. No one cares what you did, whom you did, with whom you're friends, what school you attend, what movies you like, how much you want Obama to run (LOL fucking idiots, what this country really needs is a pathetic ideologue who would rather attack our allies than terrorists! GOOD CALL THERE), ET FUCKING CETERA. It's all bullshit. It's all the fucking same, whether it's myspace or facebook. Get the fuck over it. Facebook was never a sanctuary of quality content and intelligence. Some places were, and still are (our forums, for instance). Facebook NEVER WAS. It never BECAME myspace. It always was shit. So stop with the fucking pity party, and while you're at it, let me know how lunch treated you today. I totally need to fucking know, you ugly-ass whore. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 6th, 2007
11:33 pm	Hey moron Or should I call you Jeff? Anyway, it's rather trivial that one had no federally-recognized privacy in one's e-mail address. Whenever one sends anything at all, the e-mail address, even if the contents of the e-mail are secret, is revealed. Furthermore, a short stint on google can return your e-mail address if it's ever been posted to a site, either as itself or as the heading to an actual, you know, e-mail. So, obviously, that thing you transmit publically every day isn't private. Hard to argue with that. Try, if you want to sound stupid. Furthermore, consider the contents of an encrypted e-mail. Encryption is public-key. Thus, the contents are entirely public, but the means of uncoding those contents is (hopefully) not. This is analogous to printing an entire message on a postcard, in code - the message is in plain sight, but one hopes that the coded nature of it will conceal it from anyone naughty. It follows that the message is not private at all, because it's plainly revealed to anyone who happens to read the postcard. You hope that no one has the key to crack the code, but you also give up your right to complain when someone has that key. This is what e-mail is like. Deal. Grow up. Get half a brain. Idiot. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 12th, 2007
2:33 pm	Lucky Cunts If women didn't have vaginas, there would be a bounty on their head so big Greedo wouldn't have bothered with Han. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 5th, 2007
12:10 pm	It's a fact. It is undeniably true that Albright College does NOT prepare you for any sort of post-graduate study of any kind. Deal with that fact. And, hey, Albright faculty, shut the fuck up. If you don't like it, well, get better. Do your job better. Make it so that your students do not need to retake your classes in grad school, since spending the time and money to take an undergraduate class - that you have already had! - while in grad school is unacceptable. It is ridiculous. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 14th, 2007
9:01 pm	Time's up It's 2007 now, and I hate to be wrong (luckily, it hasn't happened yet. Still waiting!). If anyone wants to come out of the woodwork and make a stupid, nonsensical post about nothing, or e-mail me, please feel free. Actually, let me rewrite that to be more clear. If John anyone Pankratz wants, Professor to of come History out, should of stop the being woodwork a and creepy make, quasi-criminal a pervert stupid and nonsensical act post his about age nothing, or or at e-mail least me act please like feel a free human. Eat it. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
9:19 pm	fucking gunners You know what? Fuck gunners. Why? Because no one else will. Gunners are the people in class (mostly law school, apparently) who have to raise their hand and answer EVERY damn question the professor poses. They talk endlessly about some bullshit aspect of the law that obviously has no application to the issue at hand. They often use the exact same language the professor used earlier in the course, because gunners literally masturbate to their notes daily. Even people like me who never do their homework understand the law well enough to know that what the gunner is saying is way off base, a total misrepresentation of the law, and stupid. Some of us laugh, sometimes, but mostly we're just surfing the internet while the gunner yaks and yaks about criminal law in a Contracts class. LOL! You suck at life. In my experience, gunners are male by a 10:1 ratio (or more, I haven't actually done the numbers). Why? Females have better things to do than figuratively suck the prof's penis. Like...literally suck the prof's penis. If you want good grades, there's a surefire way to do it! Also, women can generally go out and get attention and fuck random men and have drinks bought for them if they want. I am still amazed that attractive women EVER pay for alcohol. But they do. Why? Are you stupid, women? Step 1: go to a bar. Step 2: act slutty in front of desparate guys (initials R.C.) Step 3: get all the free alcohol you want for the entire night. You don't have to actually HAVE SEX, unless you have a stupid sense of guilt that requires you to reciprocate for free alcohol. Women are stupid! Thanks, Larry Summers, you hit that nail right on the damn head. Too bad you pussed out like a liberal asshole. Anyway, law school is like most of life. If you're not smart going in, no amount of studying is going to change it. I have found this out through experience. The people who demonstrate that they have read the cases and done the homework are still stupid as shit when the professor asks them an original question about the law. It's almost like I made a comic about this three years ago (I would link to it but I forget which comic it is, and I have like 200). If it's not in the reading, you still need to know it. Like logic. I mean, the case says "If P then Q." OK, so the prof asks, "Well, what if not-Q?" And the gunner takes on deer-in-headlights posture. Modus tollens is hard (for idiots). Fuck you. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
8:54 pm	*golf clap* I hate to say this, because I'm directly contradicting the political views of a conservative friend whom I respect, but damn. Nice fucking job, voters. In order to punish the Republicans for being moderate, we elected a far-left legislature that will probably pull us out of Iraq and greatly diminish our capacity to fight terrorism. In other words, way to go! You cut off that nose! To spite your own fucking face! Hey! Word! What's losing a few thousand more people to jets being flown into massive buildings, as long as WE TEACH THOSE RINOS A LESSON! Yeeeeeeeeeeah that's cool. Sacrifice some people for the Greater Good. What, are we Stalin now? Fucking Republican voters. Seriously, we ALL thought, during the last...oh, six years, "Holy shit. You guys want to cut spending? Or slow the rate of increase in spending? Or stop breaking my calculator trying to figure out how much spending will increase this year? I keep punching in the OMB numbers, and all it says is 'E'. What the FUCK happened to that Contract with us, guys? Term limits? SOMETHING? ANYTHING?" And all we got was, "Hey, thanks for the votes, right-wing. Now we're going to fuck you like a bitch." So, naturally, we were a bit pissed at Congress and this President, who, despite the rantings of such intellectuals as Noam Chomsky (I hear his linguistic theory is actually horrible, so, basically, he's the 1,549th academic with tenure who knows jack shit about anything), is MOOOOOOOODERATE. Conservatism was betrayed. But, you know what? Think about what we got. Hell, if you're anything like me, DID YOU THINK BEFORE THE DAMN ELECTION WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH A DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS? We are basically surrending a battle in the War on Terror. I mean, this war doesn't depend on our acknowledgement of it, like some would have us believe. We can't just stop fighting, and expect it to be over - stopping our side is basically just surrender. So, yeah, we've been at war since, I dunno, 1983? And we only actually cared about the war for five years, thanks to GWB (hey, he got one thing right! - sort of like FDR, actually. Both can fight a war well and totally fuck up domestic policy, but one was crippled so let's all suck his cock. Fuck FDR.). So, five years of freedom from domestic attack is about to be changed drastically, and now, when you board a plane, just think about how unsafe your ass is going to be. I can't imagine what the soldiers are thinking. Because, guess what! I don't have to imagine. I can hear directly that someone, let's say Ensign Stran, wants to start kicking ass and breaking shit and fucking women for his country, and Congress is going to deprive him of his solemn right to protect our country (and to spread his superior genes all over the world, mostly in New Jersey while I pretend not to notice). So yeah, we'll all die. Good thing we gained...oh, wait. The Democrats had exactly ZERO campaign promises. I guess they can't break them, then, can they? Have fun with Hilary in '08, assholes. You've fucked us all. HK (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 11th, 2006
8:40 am	Mhm Chances are, if you're reading this, and you don't have posting access to this, you're not great like me. You probably wandered over here, or in the case of Llama, found this entry in your hourly check for updates, and you think you can step to me. You cannot. I am better than you, and I will kick your ass over the internet. The world is on notice - you've had it easy. I didn't say what needed to be said. But the line must be drawn here. This far; no further. Does Duns Scotus look like a bitch? -hk (Comment on this)
8:21 am	what a! The Internet is really pissing me off lately. It's boring. There's the same bullshit drama over and over again. Some little 18-year-old shithead on a forum knows more about life than you. You know what? Get the fuck off the Internet, meet some real people, move out, get a job, etc etc etc ET FUCKING CETERA. I would not be displeased if roughly 80% of the denizens of this electronic circle-jerk just shot themselves in the head. The rest are still suspect, but whatever. What a fucking waste of time. The things on which we spend our time are going to doom us. I'm going to clean a little house soon to get rid of the obviously irrelevant posts that I have made in this journal. Die. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
9:12 am	ITT: WTF! Someone go ahead and tell me why focus-stealing is standard in Windows and has been since forever. No really. It's a massive GLITCH IN THE FUCKING OS and it just sticks in it. Yay, a new thing opened - THAT'S AWESOME BUT I WAS KIND OF TYPING IN THIS WINDOW HERE, THANKS. And then when the new thing loads, and you're about to close it, it switches focus BACK to the original thing. THE FUCK?! Bend over, Microsoft is here! Wwwwhatever. But really I have more important things to rant on. War of the Worlds? More like SHUT THE FUCK UP TOM CRUISE YOU ARE A COMPLETE MORON AND WHAT WAS A DECENT THOUGH CHEESY MOVIE HAS NOW BEEN TOTALLY FUCKING RUINED BY YET ANOTHER BULLSHIT REMAKE. Hooooooofuckingray, and it'll make more in the first night than I will ever see in my life. Line up the sheep at the ticket counters. Who needs money anyway? I love how I drove around this morning hoping for something to eat, and found precisely JACK FUCKING SHIT that wasn't horribly overpriced. Seriously, I probably burned a gallon of gas ($2 yaaaay) driving from grocery store to convenience store to grocery store hoping to find a satisfying meal for four bucks. Nope, couldn't find it anywhere, so I went home and made something that cost less than that. And whoops, it completely filled me. Back to movies - Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka? WHY? Again, lube up, because Lucas was only the first stage of the ass-rape of your childhood. Is there anything about being a kid that you remember fondly? Well we'll get right over there with some bullshit to clear that right up for you. And why do the ladies swoon over Depp anyway? He's a sickly-pale effeminate man with hair like a hippie. GET A HAIRCUT, ASS. If you think that's attractive then go drool over Michael Jackson. Seriously. They're the same damn guy. Get over it. Johnny Depp likes the 8-year-old penis. There, I said it. Should it bother me that I called a place in response to help wanted ad, and there is only one number given, and the person I called (around 8) said that the people doing the hiring aren't available, and I should call back at 9:30? Because, see, it worries me when a place apparently has ONE FUCKING PHONE LINE for evvvvverything. What kinda two-bit shit am I getting into? A lemonade stand? Here's my proposal - I do stuff to make you money and you throw money at me. It's called work. I am infinitely more qualified than anyone I see working ANYWHERE, and they got hired...so hey, let's go ahead and hire ME and run 891201 times more efficiently, why not?! Or not hire me and keep paying high school dropouts six bucks an hour to steal from you and nap on the job. Either way, really. Yeah capitalism is screwed. Too early to drink. This sucks. Bye! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
2:58 am	Fat Fucks!?!? Someone please tell me why the FUCK Rosie O'Donnell still exists?! I mean, seriously. I remember a phrase about a shark getting cramps in its neck watching that fucking worthless shithole jump over it so many times. I mean, holy shit, right?!! Seriously, she could feed about 30 of them hungry starving Ethiopian brats for, what? A month? Jonathon Swift should have followed his theorems through to their logical conclusion: Rosie should only exist as shit coming out of hungry turd world brats' anuses. (Does "anus" have a plural?) Fuck Rosie -- just not with your dick for chrissake! UPDATE (-1) yes I am drunk as I write this. Drunk a lot and bunch. I will edit it from work soon hopefully tomorrow. But those of you who see this before then, I am drunk. I also love my sweetheart; after all, she isn't that miserable cow Rosie. Weeeeeee gin. I love gin. The real blog is for real reflections; I can say fucking stupid shit here cause it is a fucking livejournal. Fuck all them mammals. Like llamas. And dave. We got like 200 uniques yesterday from John H. of RWN and from Drunk Report. And I am drunk. The circle is complete. Fuck you. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee stream of consciousness. Yes I spell checked. Kinda. I have a strong command of grammar and syntax (cause I am not an SAT flunking moron like just about everyone else so they changed it) but spelling isn't my strong suit. I guess I'll just have to be content with the gifted spacial reasoning ability and the music (theory, composition, and performance [suck my cock {assholes}]), and mathematics, and physics, and electronics. I am learning more philosophy. And CSSes (does "CSS" have a plural?!?!) can suck my ass too. Zippy -- make a template. And hide in that egg why not?! You know you are being looked for when Marin isn't blowing him. WEEEEEEE ESOTERIC YOU KNOW IT! I don't know where this is going, so I am going to collapse. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 1st, 2005
12:05 pm	OOPS I found this to be amusing. On the main page for the Bob and George comic strip (and I will NOT provide a link because I don't want people to go there, and the main comment changes daily), the "author" had this to say: Well, welcome to Year Six of the Bob and George. I don't think anyone would've thought the comic would still be around after all this time, but here we are. Hell, I was pretty sure I would've run out of material by now, but I guess not. Well, happy April Fucking Fools, eh? This shitfest ran out of material about 4.75 years ago by my count, though I am often told I am too generous. That's really all I have to say now; check the forums or the real blog for important stuff. Fuck Dave. (That goes for everyone except lousy citizenship-grabbing canucks.) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 21st, 2005
1:31 pm	Svg el oh elery What people do with their cars pisses me off a LOT. A LOT A LOT. Enjoy. -What is with liberal hippie dumbasses' putting all sorts of stickers all over their ugly-ass fifteen-year-old imports? We get it, you like peace and whales and tolerance and you absolutely hate and can't tolerate Bush and want to kill him but, presumably, in a peaceful manner, or else even your stupid weak-sauce expressions of political beliefs would contradict themselves. Ouch! I never see a conservative with 800,000,000 stickers on his car saying "Get out of the UN" and "Supply-side tax cuts 4lyfe!!" and "Remember the Maine!" I had a bumper stick for Bush/Cheney 2004. Guess what? The week after the election, it was gone! That's right, I took it off, and now the vehicle is bare except for a Penn State sticker in the window (my sister's university, yay shitty football and good linebackers). I have a theory on what is with this ugly bullshit - radical liberal "activists" have no taste. Look at their "art," where expressing a radical, rebellious, subversive (how radical are these ideas when you've heard them from every college professor you ever had and hippies keep forcing them down your throat? Not very fucking radical at all) idea >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> actually making something that looks pretty. The idea of beauty is bourgeois, or something, I think, so...yeah. Ugly-up your car because what matters is not how it looks, but what ideas you can express in two-line pathetic bumper stickers. Oh yeah, uglying-up your car is a sure sign of a liberal. Who the hell else would put a sticker designed for the rear windshield on the bumper?! That is uglylorliciousunsahgoro. -Not using headlights when it's raining or snowing or foggy or nearly night, but also not just leaving your lights off totally. If you left your lights off totally, one might conclude that you had just judged the conditions as not warranting any use of lights at all. But, oops, no, you just use the stupid-ass impossible to see yellow lights. YAY, you're annoying and helping no one at all! Because they don't illuminate the road for you AT ALL, and they are virtually as good as having no lights at all on for having people see you. One purpose of having your lights on, and the only one that can apply in this case since you're not seeing jack shit with those things, is so other people can see you. But people can't be squinting their eyes and scanning around to look for you - they have to actually drive. What you want is to be conspicuous so people can take notice of you even if they aren't looking directly at you. Those yellow lights utterly fail at that purpose. You fail at life. Here's hoping a drunk driver hits you and your children. -Driving under 40 mph in a 55 zone - oops, you're unsafe. People seem to think that only driving too fast can possibly be unsafe, but no, that's total bullshit. Driving significantly more slowly than is appropriate for the conditions makes you a nuisance and is likely to cause an accident. Because people will not expect to have to be driving so slow and you're just going to fuck up traffic patterns and be a total ass. We get it - you're 90. DIE QUIETLY AT HOME AND STOP ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF ME. -Something BIZARRE happened last week. I was behind this guy, driving normally, not tailgaiting him, because he was doing a decent speed. He came to a stop, and stopped. I waited, then stopped behind him. Something about the way I was completely obeying the law must have pissed him off, because about fifty feet ahead, he pulls over and stops. I go around him. He then gets behind me and is right on my ass the entire way. When we get to stop signs, I stop, and he DOESN'T EVEN PRETEND TO STOP but tailgates me as I'm going through the intersection! WOW, fucking psycho. If I had done something asinine I could see this but wow, I actually drove in a way not to annoy other people and somehow this guy gets psychotically fixated on annyoing me, or something. Because, you know, if I just slammed on my brakes and he rear-ended me, having an accident in which I was not at fault AT ALL but he was would...piss me...off? Somehow? Oh, right, no, I'd just laugh at his insurance rates going through the fucking roof. Way to be a masochist I guess. -There is a four-way intersection here where people from one of the directions will just come around the corner and barely even slow down, and not even approach an approximation of getting near stopping. They will do this if, and only if, you got there first and you stopped. So, if you stop as you are legally required, and then you have the right of way, that is when these people will go. Gotta love when they pull into a driveway just up the road, however, showing you where they live. Oops! Good luck with all the vandalism I am about to visit on you. Many other things piss me off but wow my blood pressure is up just thinking about this ridiculous bullshit. I wish the police EVER enforced laws and ticketed fucktards. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
5:20 am	For the Savagely Insecure Albright sucks. Pankratz. There, now I've made sure that this entry will come up whenever a certain pathetic person Googles his own name, or "Albright sucks," or whatever it is he does in his spare time trying to add any meaning to his life beyond hiding behind tenure when sexually harassing EVERYTHING TO COME WITHIN HIS LINE OF SIGHT. So, I hear people die. What this does, it make every criticism of that person invalid. See, if I say, right now, about a person who is still alive, "Well, Dr. Robert (he'll help you to understand) didn't quite live up to his obligations as a paid employee of this college because he was grossly incompetent," I may well be right. Let's assume I am. Assume also that I forget all about my criticism, and, you know, get on with my life. In the meantime, Dr. Robert dies! Oh no! What this does to my argument is to negate the entire thing. Because Dr. Robert was actually good when he was alive, but only in retrospect after he dies, because when he really was alive he wasn't a very good professor at all. So when anyone who is a worthless fucktard now happens to die, that person will have been good in hindsight. Oh, another funny thing. When you say anything anonymously, it can't be true. FYI. History seems to be a terribly easy field in which to receive a Ph.D. Seems to require no knowledge of basic logic or anything like that. Oh well. Anyway, I just can't wait until someone sends me hate mail about this in 2007. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
6:57 pm	North East Gets Snow; Homeless Bums Die I just went for a walk in this horrible snowstorm we are having. I did so for several reasons: to see the storm, to see how the city is managing it, maybe see a car wreck or two, and mainly so that my apartment wouldn't seem so bitch-ass cold when I got back. As I was walking along in my nice thermal-insert winter jacket, wearing my Thinsulate knit hat and super warm gloves, I couldn't help but think of all the homeless people in the North East, in places like NYC and Philly, who are freezing to death right now. My heart welled up with pity and compassion, like a dam ready to break, and... Nope! That's bullshit! Good riddance! You didn't think I was actually serious, did you!? Damn! "But Auskunft," I can hear you saying, "how can you be so cruel and heartless?!" Well, Llama, if those dregs don't see the need to get a job and pay for a place to live, food to eat, and warm clothes to wear... well, it's their own damn fault! "But Auskunft," you again start whining, "Unemployment, economy, Bushitler, &c., yak yak yak..., how can they possibly expect to get a job?" Well, ready for the punchline? CLOSE THE FUCKING BORDERS! That's right! Keep the leeches who don't belong here OUT! And punish the fuck out of companies that hire them! Do the math -- for every illegal system-fucker-uper we have in here that IS BREAKING THE LAW by being here, there is one homeless wretch that can't get a job. All the crazy stupid liberals claim to have such pity in their hearts; well, fuckers, maybe if enough homeless bums die in this storm you might take a little more pity on them for a change. They actually belong here and should take priority in your hearts over a bunch of border-jumping scumbags. It's fucking warm in Mexico anyway; no severe snow storms to worry about. So, in conclusion, fuck Mexico, fuck liberals, fuck this snowstorm, and die off you dirty bums. I'm pulling for you! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 14th, 2005
12:13 am	NO; WRONG; DIE No, I'm not back. What the fuck? Video games are a load of horseshit anymore. I mean, the best games out there are fucking rereleases by Nintendo that serve two purposes: 1. They make money for Nintendo so they can keep churning out more NEW bullshit that rapes your youth like The Wind Waker (more liek teh gay waker amirite?! lol1`). 2. It always provides an answer to ROM-users who say "BUT U DONT EVEN SELL THOES GAMES ANYMOR WTF UR NOT LOSING $$$ U JOOZ" The funny fucking part of all of this is that Nintendo releases this shit over and fucking over again and the fanboy Japan-cock sucking assholes keep spending their parents' money on it. FOR FUCKING EXAMPLE (e.f.g.): The Legend of Zelda. This, along with three other Zelda games, came on a promo disc with the Game Cube. This disc was FREE with a fucking Cube. What does Nintendo do? THEY CHARGE TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A GAME BOY VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL GAME. As if that weren't bad enough, The Adventure of Link is also released for the Game Boy, at the same price, even though it's also on the promo disc. So I can pay forty dollars to get half of what I can get for free. Ok. Sign me the fuck up. Games are bullshit anymore anyway. What utterly linear crap. I think the peak of it all was Metroid Fusion, a game that wasn't content with holding your hand; it had to FORCE you to report in every three minutes and download a map that pointed out exactly where you had to go. If there was a "secret" to be found it was behind a wall marked "Yo, Samus, there's shit behind this wall; use that ability you just got to get in there, since it's too much to ask you to use old abilities thirty minutes after you got them, because, well, players have such shitty attention spans they forget by that time." I mean, come the fuck on. Graphics. Yeah, graphics. Wow, you can make 103292043 polygons, each one a different color, do a little dance in front of my eyes. That's cute and all, but how about actually paying attention to the rest of the game? Like, making it fun? Most NES games are more fun than ANYTHING released since 1996, simply because, way back in the day, the graphics looked like shit no matter what you did, so developers actually paid attention to FUN. AMAZING. FUN AND GAMES COME TOGETHER IN AN ORGY OF FLAVOR. Unlike today, where games are basically just animated .gifs where, if you mash enough buttons hard enough, and in the proper sequence, you might just alter what happens on the screen. Good luck though. The best part is when the pseudo-intellectual fanboys try to justify themselves when you catch them with Shigeru Miyamoto's tiny cock in their mouths. I mean, they play utter shit like The Wind Waker and, since the game is BORING TEDIOUS SHIT, they can't say "Well, it's fun" and be done with it. That would be garden-variety lying. No, they have to lecture you on the complexity of cel-shading (wow, and I care because you're just telling me how much time they wasted on making the graphics look like crap, time that obviously was not spent on making the game play well; way to make my case for me, jackass); how this newest fabricated bullshit storyline somehow fits in with everything said before, through some convoluted theory that is the final product of many dateless nights wondering how the Goron Race can be anything other than a freshly-pinched load from Shiggy's dumbass...ass; and how a cartoony sack of Powerpuff Girls crap can be dark and scary while some pig in the game farts (so I've been told; I didn't play this pile long enough to find out). Anyway, I'm just whining because I can't afford a DS. Because I really want a DS. I really want something that is only backwards-compatible with Game Boy Advance games (who wants to play Link's Awakening, the best handheld game EVER CREATED? NOT ME). I shoot a load in my pants at the thought of brilliant games where the whole point is to demonstrate that the DS has a touch-screen. I mean, that's it. The games are like "LOOK U CAN TOUCH THE SCREEN ISNT THAT KEWL?" OK, a gimmick! Remember how well that other gimmicky handheld worked? Virtual Boy? Yeah, that's what I thought. Eh. Video games are the equivalent of "Here is a ball. Perhaps you would like to bounce it." Games used to care about being compelling and worth playing, but people like shit and they get shit. They can't handle "hard" games so they get stuff you can beat in three hours. What's the use of all these advances in technology and storage space if people are too pussified to bother playing a game for more than two days? None. At all. Best game ever is still Pool of Radiance and I doubt that will ever change. Way to go, Quinn. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 6th, 2004
11:48 am	ITT: I had six 22 oz. bottles of Yuengling Lager last night. :JAM: AM I CORRECT I can apply to two law schools for free. Free is the color of ~money. Yes. Free is a color now. If you're blocked, you probably won't stay that way. Give me some time alone. Well, not alone, but with the buddies I want to talk to. :devil: HerrHegel has no sense of decorum, and IT RULES. I have new comics. Kant must have been the only pacifist in Prussia. Philosophers cannot be good political theorists and good philosophers of mind at the same time. I cite Plato, Locke, and Kant off the top of my head. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 4th, 2004
2:55 pm	Suck it. You suck. We rule. (5 Comments |Comment on this)